There is no way that you can date someone who is the same exact person as you. Because of this, you and your boyfriend are bound to have some differences. In some cases, this will lead to feelings of hatred. When you share the same respect for each other, you are allowing each other to be yourself. You may not like that your boyfriend plays golf with his friends every weekend. The only way that this really affects you is that you get less time with him, right? Work on being more supportive. You might offer to go watch one day.
You might get him a new club for his birthday. This depends on the guy. Think about past situations with your boyfriend and how observant or oblivious he has been.
There is not always consistency here. Still, a more observant guy will be more likely to pick up on certain things. This is true of all people. He might be trying to see how much you care by treating you unusually. Now, nobody is going to be overjoyed if you tell them that you hate them. Just be very cautious. You should mention that you feel differently about him or that your feelings have changed. Then you can ease into the whole discussion about you hating him.
There is a very slim chance that these words would be taken well in this context. As you talk, try to stay calm and avoid getting angry. A relaxed attitude may help him to understand and process the information in a healthier way. Plus, this can help you to avoid additional conflict. You might already be experiencing some of the common issues. Of course, you cannot avoid these topics forever, especially when they are related to your relationship. You will probably want to talk to your boyfriend less or spend less time with him if you hate him.
This will begin to tear you two apart and make it tricky to interact with one another. You will find yourself pulling away from your boyfriend and being less connected. In general, hateful couples are more likely to get into disagreements and arguments. From there, you will be more belligerent.
Continuing to have these hateful feelings is not healthy in your relationship or for you personally. Make sure you find a healthy way to manage these emotions so that you can keep the peace with your boyfriend as much as possible. You might feel like you can go to your best friends for anything.
This should be true most of the time. You probably ask them for fashion, family, and friendship advice. When it comes to relationships, you need to tread lightly. Too often, girls spill all of the relationship issues to their friends, which violates the trust in the relationship. Plus, any of this information could get right back to him. That would make the situation much worse than it already is. Sure, you might get more thorough advice if you tell your besties every last detail, but you will be potentially breaking the trust between you and your boyfriend.
Be respectful of your boyfriend if you choose to ask for advice. Therapists are professionally trained to handle these types of situations in relationships.
By going to a reputable therapist, you will be in good hands. You will be able to come up with a plan so that you can go from hating your boyfriend to loving him more. Going to a therapist takes effort. You have to want to go and talk about your problems. You have to be committed to fixing the issue. You should also be prepared to be honest and share your real feelings. By doing this, you will be allowing the therapist to help you even better.
Sometimes, your boyfriend may not want to go. In this case, you could definitely go on your own. This might be your only option. Once you receive some valuable information, make sure that you use it in your life and in your relationship. This might be a guide that is specific to your particular needs. For example, if you feel like they never listen to you, ask yourself if your communication style might leave room for misunderstandings.
Frequent miscommunications can create problems in relationships, but finding new ways to talk about your feelings and needs can help you avoid future communication mismatches. Say your partner clears their throat a lot. If it bothers you, you could try talking to them about it, but there may come a point when you have to figure out a way to get used to it if you want to maintain the relationship. Bringing up any significant issues with your partner respectfully and working together to find a solution is often the key to resolving recurring feelings of hatred.
Sometimes, sharing dark thoughts with those you love and trust can help you feel better and get some perspective. Discussing your feelings can help normalize them. Most people experience some negative thoughts in their relationships. Talking about them can help them seem less alarming and unusual. Maybe you were absolutely furious yesterday and never wanted to see your partner again.
But once you start telling your best friend what happened, the situation almost seems comical and you still feel absolutely in love with your partner. Maybe you loathe your partner right now, in this moment. But what about yesterday? Last week? Two months ago? Focusing your thoughts on the good things in your relationship can often help alleviate anger. If you want to calm down a little more, list three of their best qualities.
In the middle of a disagreement? Could we take a break and come back to this later? This can absolutely take a toll on your feelings for your partner, so make and prioritize a plan to spend some quality time together. A couples therapist can offer guidance and a safe space for talking through any relationship issues and problematic or harmful behaviors.
A therapist can also help you both explore your go-to patterns in conflict and develop more productive communication strategies. That said, too much negativity can affect the health of your relationship, so if you notice these feelings popping up more and more, talking to a therapist may be a good next step. Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy.
Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. Pent-up anger getting the best of you?
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